freedom. freedom. freeeedom.

i can sum up my emotions of this past weekend in one word, freedom.

and no, i'm not talking the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness (as awesome as all that is.) i'm talking about wind in your hair, radio blaring, sweet sweet 16 year old, just got my drivers license car driving freedom.

you see, the past five'ish years of my life i have lived in a big city where owning a car was darn near impossible. (trust me, i borrowed one once and got it towed twice. in 24 hours.) but now that jason and i have aged roughly 30 years over night and have made the big move to the 'burbs of NYC, not owning a car is darn near impossible. (trust me, going to target loses its appeal when you have to walk home with an oversized pack of toilet paper in your hand no matter how good of a deal you got on it.)

to be fair, we have a "car", but i'm using that term loosely. its tiny, it seats two people, its a convertible, i can carry more in my arms than you can even begin to imagine squeezing into the "trunk", and stick shift. so on top of all that impracticality throw in my questionable driving record, my inability to hold on to a wallet for more than a few months and therefore my drivers license, and that impossible to learn manual transmission and you have one ride-bumming trapped ashley.

but this weekend we bought a car. a real car. a real automatic car. a brand new real automatic car - a mini countryman. (it has a back seat! it has trunk space! it has naviation, reclining seats, a port to plug in your iphone!) and it is so brand new that it doesn't even come out until january.

oh wait.

...i guess what i'm trying to say is i feel like a 15 and half year old. you know - just got my temps and can't really drive, but can still smell that sweet scent of freedom, freedom, freeeedom.

oh well whatever, i'll be busy until january anyway. i mean i have to practice my mini wave (so i can greet my fellow mini owners on the road. and shoot, if there isn't one - i'll be busy making one up because there clearly should be one), read up on ny driving laws (did you know you can't turn right on red in nyc?), and brush up on my flirting so i can get out of the tickets i'll inevitably deserve (i'm joking jason.) (not really.)

i'll never forget...

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that feeling, the pure emotion that ran through my body, my mind, and my heart when jason got down on one knee.

and now this lucky lil' bride to be won't either.

say it with me, "adorable."

lets be honest...

"no shopping" policies, are for the birds. so i bought a set of these from here. and i can't wait to get them (in february. apparently i'm not the only one who threw caution to the wind when it came to these bad boys. its the curves, they'll get you everytime - just ask the boys.)

oh bother...

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i'm not going to lie; it has been a "rough" start to my lil' experiment. and please note, i do use the term "rough" lightly as i do, at the very least, recognize that commuting to your couch isn't all that bad.

but do you know those days where everything that could go wrong, did go wrong? and everything thats suppose to be super simple, was all kinds of complicated? well i have had roughly seven of those gems right in a row. and while i want to curl myself up in a ball, in my bed, with the covers over my head, for at least a few days - i'm going to tell you a story that always makes me smile, because i made him smile.

i met jason, my fiance, the day lehman brothers went bankrupt. the day the recession began, the day fortunes were lost, the day the job market began to crumble. the worst day in jason's professional life.

you see, he worked (well, works) for lehman and while i was spending that sunday in the lounge of our shared apartment building drinking and watching football with friends he was quietly sitting in the corner searching for news online about the future of his job, his field, and (of course) the economy as a whole.

after rooting for my hometown team, the cleveland browns, i called it a night and headed up to to my place, but not before saying something. and while i don't remember what that something was i do remember that something that made jason smile. and right at that very moment i knew i wanted to make him smile for the rest of my life.

if at first you don't succeed...

...buy a box of pre-baked brownies.

via vi.sualize.us

raise your hand if you thought being voluntarily unemployed meant a life of leisure? that it means voluntarily becoming a nap taking, manicure getting, lunching, reading, bum? well my friend (and my family members who will undoubtedly be furiously raising their hands with an exasperated grunt of "pick me, pick me!") you could not be more wrong...

i've got things to do! i have my life to get back. i have content to dig up, stories to tell. i have to chisel away at a few years of corporate living (also read: stress) and a personality to re-find. i'm busy. really busy. i gotta...

play with my new camera. artsy photos aren't just going to take themselves.
decorate the bedroom
get crafty
make some memories
bake cakes (from scratch)
learn how to sew
take up pilates and/or spinning (i'm not about to get all crazy and do both. i'm going to be
honest with you; i will be taking a nap from time to time.)
organize my sad excuse for a closet
maybe start writing again
oh, and plan a wedding (details, details...)

so you see, you won't find me lounging on my couch, eat bons bons and watching soap operas. on au contraire, i'm taking this time to master a few things, try a few others, and obviously fail at a few more.

today.

via vi.sualize.us

today i am walking away.

today i am closing the window on hatred, pettiness, and greed and opening the door to hope optimism, and change.

today i am saying no to "no" and yes to opportunity, to chances, and to hope.

today i am turning my back on them and opening my arms to me.

(today i quit my job. today, i return to my blog. today i chanter sous la pluie.)